Even by the most cynical anti-Abuja standards, the arrest of Bayelsa State governor, Dieprieye Alamieyeseigha (whoever can spell the man’s name right, deserves a prize) cannot be a witch-hunt of those opposed to the third term agenda of president Obasanjo, but a breadth of fresh air to supporters of the nation’s anti-corruption campaign. Nigerians want a broom sweep on callous politicians who steal and stash Nigeria’s money away for their flight of fancy.

Wake up and smell the politics: Since that fateful Thursday when the “Governor-general” of the Ijaw-nation (an egoist whose disreputable policing career terminated at the lowly rank of DPO, but borrows titles) was handcuffed, the points to ponder have continued to multiply. Is it possible, for instance, that Nigeria, Soyinka’s Nigeria, Chike Obi’s Nigeria, Ishaya Audu’s Nigeria, Iya Abubakar’s Nigeria, Chinua Achebe’s Nigeria, Gani Fawehinmi’s Nigeria can accommodate as governors people who do not realize the limits of their political immunity under section 308 of the 1999 constitution of Nigeria; and do our governors truly believe that they command any respect outside our shores apart from the respect granted those who are innocent until proven guilty which is consistently dished out to them by Scotland Yard? These are only two of many more questions and the more one learns about the arrest of this owner of Nigeria’s most difficult name, the closer one comes to knowing how similar to his name the corruption issue in Nigeria has become.

An arm-swing around anyone’s shoulder shows the extent of corruption in the country. There are allegations of corruption against almost all the governors, against the president, against the members of the National Assembly, against the police, against the customs, the public, parents, school children and even against the judiciary.

But wait. What is complicating this matter the more is that, the people whose money the governor is alleged to have stolen are rising to his defence. Following their governor’s ordeal, the Ijaw Youth Council (IYC) and the Lagos Branch of the Ijaw People’s Assembly (IPA) in separate reactions condemned the arrest and described it as “a plan to destabilize the Ijaws and turn their attention away from the central issue of their survival.” The state’s Deputy Governor pledged his unalloyed loyalty to the man and the state’s commissioners are hiding in bunkers for fear of being asked to comment on the issue. This is a man whose second term bid for the Yenegoa Government House was fraught with so much controversy and allegation of sleaze that he had to obtain a court injunction to vie for his office. Now that the job of handcuffing him has been outsourced to the police force in the UK people are claiming that he is the injured party. These groups do not even bother that the millions stolen are those meant for their development. If this is not an indictment of civil society, what is?

We may never know how Nigerians think when it comes to the misbehaviour of their politicians. Some defend thieving officials only when it affects one of their own and others do so because of what they stand to benefit. The first time a governor was picked up by Scotland Yard, it was Joshua Chibi Dariye (another man with a name so appropriate in Hausa, for smiling to the laundry, instead of the bank). When he was caught, similar arguments were advanced by people whose knowledge of everything around the world is so below-par that they would think one needs to take a course to pass a blood test. During the Dariye case, the race-card was drawn, religious sentiments were thrown, ethnic conflicts were flashed and, if Obj were to be a woman, genders would have clashed all in a bid to show how the arrest was one form of unfair treatment of political opponents of Obj or another.

And now that a police DSP (yes, you read it right, Deputy Superintendent of Police) Alamieyeseigha is reporting to a police station not for duty but to answer questions as an accused, having been found with more than a million pounds in his safe, one would be surprised if nobody comes out to accuse Obj of being in the habit of humiliating the police. In fact, one would have to pick up one’s jaw from the floor if those with the presence of mind to read 2007 in everything do not remember to advance the argument, just to prove how Obj hates policemen, that while in retirement, Obasanjo once hopped out of his car to give a policeman the beating of his life for daring to stop a General of the Nigerian Army at a road-block.

But all these are only half the playbook. Whining about corrupt Nigerian politicians, we have been told, is not a platform. It is a mere sound bite. Corruption in Nigerian politics is the order of the day and, the norm rather than the exception. People who defend our politicians’ kleptomania shamelessly accuse the general public of being green with envy. They say the critics are only jealous of those who have been gifted by God Almighty (albeit, with the skill to steal). It is therefore no surprise that a certain individual who goes by the name of Ogbomo (or is it OMO - better at laundering) with no sense of self-worth has already made his way to London to claim that the money (£1 million) is his and not the evildoer’s.

DSP Alamieyeseigha, 53, appeared in a London Court on Friday and was granted bail, while the case against him has been adjourned to November 15. He is to report to Scotland Yard, just as many other common thieves do, on a daily basis for the next one month. But as he continues to show-up there, he may wonder why constables treat him with disdain. There will be no salutes for him, just as he may even have difficulty comprehending the professionalism of those interrogating him. If he ventures to tell them that he was once a policeman, they will simply pretend not to have heard him and carry on with their job the best way they know how.

No one be impressed by his bowler-hat and well-cut suits, after all it is quite clear to those who work at Scotland Yard, that they were bought with the resources that he seems to be fighting so fervently to control. Diprieye’s Nigeria is headed by thieves. And that these thieves can only be arrested abroad is not only an indictment of the public institutions like the judiciary, the police, the State Security Service (SSS), Nigeria Intelligence Agency (NIA) and the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) but the outsourcing of the functions of these institutions to their more competent, more dutiful and more service-minded counterparts abroad.

The arrest of two governors (17 others have rushed to transfer their funds from London) so far is a clear sign that these thieves can run but they cannot hide. Dariye is lucky to have jumped bail and returned to Nigeria, some say with a Ghanaian passport. Deprieye Alamieyeseigha may not be that lucky because the policemen at Scotland Yard would have learnt a lesson or two about how not to trust a Nigerian public official with any pretext of self-recognition. Nigeria must immediately commence the process of expunging section 308 from its 1999 constitution or the thieves will avoid London but still find their way to other smaller economies to hide their loot.

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