Subject: This should surely get a grin?


Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton & Olusegun Obasanjo died & went
straight to hell.

Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England; I want to call England and
see how everybody is doing there". She called and talked for about 5
minutes, and then she asked
"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million pounds". She wrote him a cheque and
went to sit back on her chair.

Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I
wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there
too. He called and talked for about 2 minutes, and then he asked
"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars".
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on
his chair.

Obasanjo was even more jealous & starts screaming, me go call
Nigeria too jare, I go see how everybody is doing there too. I
go to talk to the ministers, to the deputies, to the PDP, everybody.....
He calls Nigeria and he talks for about twenty hours, he talked & talked
& talked, then he asked,
"Well, Devil, how much do I owe you????
The devil says "One dollar".
Obasanjo is stunned & says "One dollar??? Only one freaking dollar??"
The Devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell,
it's local !

Ike Ofoche

 A letter from an Indian mother to her daughter

My dear Jagjit,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing
this letter slowly because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where
we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most
accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I won't be able
to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house
numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their
address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address
plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right
above the toilet. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3
shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't
too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days
and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt
said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal
buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has
another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the
cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He
told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were
confused as to which piece should we remove? Your sister had a baby this
morning. I haven't found out whether it
is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your
uncle Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but
he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for
three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his
father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he
died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his
father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love Mom.

PS:  Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realised,
I had already sealed off this letter.

Joke of the Day


Ok 3 guys are looking for a place to stay so they find this motel... when they get in the clerk says there's one room left but he's not sure how much it costs and the men will have to wait for the manager to get back.... the clerk then says or you guys could leave 30 dollars here with me and either I'll bring back change or I'll come collect the rest in the morning.
The 3 guys leave 10 dollars each.......the manager comes and the room turns out to be 25 dollars so the manager gives the clerk 5 dollars to return to the 3 guys, the clerk then says but there's 3 guys how should I split it and the manager said well give each guy a dollar and keep 2 for yourself.

NOW!.....each guy spent 10 dollars, but got one back...which means they spent 9 dollars each, so 9x3=27 so the 27 dollars the guys spent plus the 2 the clerk kept equals 29 but the guys left 30....so where's the other dollar?

email your answer to the webmaster@AmanaOnline.com
 

Joke of the Day

The Magician

There was this magician on a ship performing every night. Not noticing, the captain's parrot watches him every night as he performs the same tricks. After watching him, the parrot finds out how he does it and started to tell the audience.

After the parrot told the audience, the ship hit an iceberg and started to sink. Everyone ran to the life boats. It so happened that the magician went overboard and managed to hold on to a flat piece of board that the parrot was on. After three days of staring at each other the parrot finally says, "Ok, what did you do with the ship?"

This joke submitted by: Lionhart724

Joke of the Day

One fine June day a snake met his old friend, the skunk, in the forest. "How are you doing?" asked the skunk. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

"All right, I guess," the snake replied, "except that I can hardly see. I'm going to get contact lenses."

The snake did just that, & several days later he met up with the skunk again.

"Not only can I see perfectly now," he told his friend, "but my love life's improved."

"How can contact lenses improve your love life?"

"Simple," said the snake. "I just found out I've been living with a garden hose."

This joke submitted by: SallyBSunshine