(LITTLE KNOWN FACTS - Below)

We dey too! 

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had telephone network 1000 years ago. 
So not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians." 
One week later, the Nigerian newspapers reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500 metres, Nigerian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless!!

**************************************************************************

A TEASER - the NIGERIAN POLICE!
Forwarded by A.B.Barkindo

Read About the The Queen, Clinton and Obasanjo!!

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy anew car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would 
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
 drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Everyone needs this list to live by

The most destructive habit..............................Worry
The greatest Joy.............................................Giving
The greatest loss......................Loss of self-respect
>>
 The most satisfying work....................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....................Selfishness
The most endangered species........Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource....................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"........Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome......................Fear
>>
The most effective sleeping pill.........Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease................Excuses
 The most powerful force in life..........................Love
>>
 The most dangerous pariah......................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer.......The brain
 The worst thing to be without......................... Hope
>>
 The deadliest weapon.............................The tongue
 The two most power-filled words................."I Can"
 The greatest asset.........................................Faith
>>
 The most worthless emotion......................Self-pity
 The most beautiful attire................................SMILE!
 The most prized possession....................... Integrity
>>
The most powerful channel of communication.......Prayer
 The most contagious spirit....................Enthusiasm

Brainteaser

       Suicide? Or Murder? Or Suicide?   
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS resident 
Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a 
bizarre death. Here is the story:

       On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald
Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The
decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.

       He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency. As he fell
past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing
through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the
decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the
eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus
would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

       Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit
suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be
what he intended" is still defined as committing suicide. Mr. Opus was shot
on the way to certain death nine stories below at street level, but his
suicide attempt probably would not have been successful because of the
safety net. This caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide
on his hands.

       The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated
was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously,
and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when
he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went
through the window striking Mr. Opus.

      When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the
attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the
murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said
they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long
standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no
intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be
an accident, that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

      The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old
couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal
accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial
support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the
shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father
would shoot his mother.

    The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

       Now comes the exquisite twist.

      Further investigation revealed that the son was in fact Ronald Opus.
He had become increasingly despondent over both the loss of his financial
support and the failure of his attempt to engineer  his mother's murder.
This led him to jump off the ten-story building on  March 23rd, only to be shot by his father.

=== end ===

I think there are few states (or Countries) other than Jersey with the same rules.

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW JERSEY
(You can Substitute a country's name as desired)

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit or being ticketed.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it may result in being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state, the other guy may just be seeking lots of extra money and an early retirement.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's fun to scare people entering the highway.

8. Remember, in New Jersey speed limits are arbitrary and capricious, think of them as merely suggestions, apparently they are not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

9. Keep in mind, just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of  "high-speed  slalom driving" the State Highway Department, prides itself putting pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green or for any other reason deemed necessary, arbitrary or capricious.

13. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In New Jersey,  'flipping someone the bird' is considered a traditional New Jersey solute. You should always return this gesture and thereby keep up the proud tradition.

THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY!

God Bless Blondes at Football Games
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football (American not Soccer)game. They had great
seats right behind the bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked
the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "especially the really
tight pants and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why
they were killing each other for 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What on earth do you mean?"
"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back!

Ponderables

• Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins lottery"?

• Why is it that to stop windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavors and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

• Why is the time of day with slowest traffic called the rush hour?

• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2.  Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool??
3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea.... does that mean that one actually enjoys it??
4. There are 3 religious truths: 1-Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah 2-Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith 3-Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.
5. Why do we say something is out of whack?? What's a whack??
6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular??
7. Why is the man who invests your money called a broker??
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with??
9. If lawyers are disbarred & clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked & dry cleaners depressed??
10.  Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
11. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men??
12.  If American mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons & forks, ever wonder what Chinese mothers use?? Toothpicks??
13. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?? What are we supposed to do, write to them?? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail??
14. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for??
15. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive!!
16. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
17. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
18. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
19. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
20. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
21. I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
22. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
23. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
24. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
25. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
26. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
27. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
28. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
29. The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.
30. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
31. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
32. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
33. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
34. Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
35. A fool and his money are soon partying.
36. Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
37. The 50-50-90 rule:  Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
38. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
39. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
40. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
41. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.  (actually, this is very true.  When I find a shoe I really love, I try to get at least two pair because I'll never find them again!)
42. Eat right.  Stay fit.  Die healthy.
43. The (good) things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
44. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
45. Flashlight:  A case for holding dead batteries.
46. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
47. A fine is a tax for doing wrong.  A tax is a fine for doing well.
48. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.  (This sounds like quantum mechanics!)
49. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
50. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.  (Sad, but somewhat true.)

 Think about these...

• Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight, just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in.

• Should you find yourself in traffic: don't despair; There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

• Should you have a bad day at work, think of the man who has been out of work for the last three months.

• Should you despair over a relationship gone badly, think of person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

• Should you grieve the passing of another weekend, think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her family.

• Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

• Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

• Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what life is all about, asking, "what is my purpose"; be thankful, there are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

• Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be them!!!

• "Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have."--Doris Mortman

·          Life is like an onion: You peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
-author unknown-

Bill Gates was hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with the computer technology over the last few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds  and gets a 1000 miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times  a day?" 

Bumper Stickers

• Well, this day was total waste of make-up

• Don't bother me, I am living happily ever after

• Do I Look like freaking' people person?

• This isn't an office, it is hell with fluorescent lighting 

• I started out with nothing and still have most of it left

• I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me

• Whatever kind of look you are going for, you missed

• Suburbia, where they tear down the trees and then name streets after them

• Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet

• Adults are just kids who owe money

• Nice perfume, must you marinate in it?

• Earth is full, go home

• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks

• Meandering to a different drummer

• I am not tense, just terribly, terribly alert

•  

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS

• A woodpecker can peck up to 500 times per minute or 8 times per second.

• During a lifetime a tiger shark will produce, use and then shed some 24 000 teeth.

• The human heart produces enough energy in one day to lift 360 metric tones 1 meter.

• A bee can haul 300 times it's own weight - that is equivalent to a human pulling a 30 tone transport truck.

• Salt is Sodium Chloride, which always forms as cube crystals.

• Ants will never cross a white line on a football field. They are allergic to the white chalk.

• Each sugar crystal has 16 sides. Count them.

• The Great Wall of China is the largest man made object that can bee seen from a satellite going around the earth.

• Hydrogen is an explosive gas. Oxygen supports combustion. Yet when these are combined it is water, which is used to put out fires.

• The chalk used in schools isn't chalk at all... it is Plaster of Paris.

• All the chemicals in the human body have a combined value of $6.25.

• Your sense of balance is between your ears... so is your head.

• Water puts out fire by cooling it and covering it so oxygen can't get to the burning object.

• Oysters make pearls from lime slime on a grain of sand.

• Cats have two different sets of vocal cords, one to meow and one to purr.

• There are 800 000 different kinds of insects.

• In their lifetime, 150 bees will gather only 25 milliliters of honey.

• Your eyes can distinguish nearly eight million different colors.

• Your digestive tract is ten meters long. (Approx. 30 feet).

• Your heart pumps more than six liters of blood every minute. That is about 10 000 liters a day, or about 2000 gallons.

• If all 600 muscles in your body pulled in one direction, you could lift 25 tons.

• Every half kilogram of excess fat you carry requires an extra 320 kilometers of capillaries.

• You have skin cells in your stomach, eyes and lungs.

• More than half of your body's 206 bones are in your hands and feet.

• Your eyes and brain build color from waves of energy.

• The surface area of your lungs is 1000 square feet (93 square meters). That is 20 times greater than the surface area of your skin.

• Your body produces one billion red blood cells every day.

• Your ears can discriminate more than 300 000 tones.

• One cubic inch of bone can withstand a two ton force.

• The heaviest body organ is the skin. The average mass is 3.2 kilograms or seven pounds.

• All snowflakes have six points, yet no two snowflakes are alike.

• There are more chickens in the world than any other bird. - Three billion or more

• The elephant is the only animal in the world with four knees.

• Seals seldom sleep; in fact they have been known to swim continuously for eight months and travel 10 000 kilometers

• Taking a bath requires 40 percent more water than the average shower ...Unless you sing and have to finish your song.

• Grasshoppers hear through their knees.

• Some snakes hear through their tongues.

• Fish don't have ears, yet they hear or feel vibrations along the lateral line of their bodies.

• If you could count the number of times a cricket chirps in one minute, divide by 2, add 9 and divide by 2 again, you would have the correct temperature in Celsius degrees... On the other hand you can always look at a thermometer.

• There are 336 dimples on a golf ball. If you don't believe me... count them.

• Your teeth are the first to decay while you are alive ... yet the last to decay when you are dead.

• The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

• Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

• Cat's urine glows under a black light. (Ultraviolet)

• Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

• It's possible to lead a cow upstairs ...but not downstairs.

• A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

• When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.

• The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

• The shortest complete sentence in the English language is, "I am."

• An ant can pull 50 times its own weight.
  The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

• Other than fruit, honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life!

• The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with, e.g. Asia, Europe.

• Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

• Human birth control pills work on gorillas.

• Coca-Cola contains neither coca nor cola.

• The "ZIP" in Zip Code stands for "Zone Improvement Plan."

• An elephant can be pregnant for up to two years.

• The human body is composed of about 36 liters or eight gallons of water.

• Ocean waves have been known to toss rocks weighing more than 100 tons.

• Fish that live more than 800 meters below the ocean surface don't have eyes.

• Dogs pant to regulate their body heat, but they also have sweat glands in their feet.

•  Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.

•  Goat's eyes have rectangular pupils.

•  Soweto in South Africa was derived from SOuth WEst TOwnship.

• A group of unicorns is called a blessing.

• Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."

• A group of frogs is called an army.

• A group of rhinos is called a crash.

• A group of kangaroos is called a mob.

• A group of whales is called a pod.

• A group of geese is called a gaggle.

• A group of ravens is called a murder.

• A group of officers is called a mess.

• A group of larks is called an exaltation.

• A group of owls is called a parliament.

• Shrimps' hearts are in their heads.

• Starfish don't have brains.

• Coca-Cola was originally green.

• The only "real" food that U.S. Astronauts are allowed to take into space is pecan nuts.

• All three major 1996 presidential candidates, Clinton, Dole and Perot, are left-handed.

• Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

• The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

• QANTAS, the name of the Australian national airline, is a (former) acronym, for Queensland And Northern Territories Air Service.

• The Dodge brothers Horace and John were Jewish that’s why the first Dodge emblem had a star of David in it.

• Chrysler built B-29's that bombed Japan; Mitsubishi built Zeros that tried to shoot them down. Both companies now build cars in a joint plant call Diamond Star.

• All swans and all sturgeons in England are property of the Queen. Messing with them is a serious offense.

• Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.

• The three largest land-owners in England are the Queen, the Church of England and Trinity College, Cambridge.

• The naval rank of "Admiral" is derived from the Arabic phrase "amir al bahr", which means, "lord of the sea".

• If done perfectly, any rubix cube combination can be solved in 17 turns

• In 75% of American households, women manage the money and pay the bills

• Ketchup is excellent for cleaning brass, especially tarnished or corroded brass

• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain

• A dragonfly has the life span of 24 hours

• A goldfish has the memory span of three seconds

• In England, the speaker of the house is not allowed to speak

• The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket

• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes

• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped hair

• There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball 

• Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated

• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite

• There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar

• There are more chickens than people in the world

• Winston Churchill was born in a ladies restroom(bathroom) during a dance

• "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt"

Some more ponderables

• Why do banks charge you a "non-insufficient funds fee" on money they  already know you don't have?

• Why do you press harder on a remote control when know the battery is dead?

• If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how many degrees is it going to be?

• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

• Why is the man who invest all your money called a broker?

• Whose cruel idea is it to put an "s" in the word lisp?

• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

• If a tree falls in the forest, do the other trees laugh?

who is the boss

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. 

"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers because I am in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

Secret to happiness

The secret to happiness and well-being is no mystery. All it takes is the ability to do the following: 

Forget.

Apologize.

Admit  errors.

Avoid  mistakes.

Listen  to  advice.

Keep your temper.

Shoulder  the  blame.

Make the best of things.

Maintain  high  standards.

Think first and act accordingly.

Put the need of others before your own.

Forgive. Seem like tall order? Then try slipping as many of these

“secrets to happiness” into your day as possible. You’ll soon be

rewarded with a more positive outlook on life

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